Tell Me If You Feel It Too
by katielynn21
Summary: Coley and Sonya have gotten tremendously close over the span of just one year. They're best friends. But, what happens when they both develop stronger feelings than that? This is based off of Hayley Kiyoko's "Girls Like Girls" music video. It's my perspective of the characters and I really hope you enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Everyday was difficult for her. Being moved from foster home to foster home takes a toll on people.

Sonya felt like she was going to lose her mind. She probably would've already if it hadn't been for Coley.

Coley was her escape, the one person that didn't remind her of the hell she called life. When Sonya was with Coley, the world ceased to exist. It stopped spinning on its axis and she felt like they had all the time in the world. There were no screaming foster parents to go home to, no boyfriend that constantly wanted to get high. There was just.. Coley and Sonya. They were best friends and nothing could've changed that.

She should've been saying Trenton. That Trenton was the one ray of sunshine in the dark, bottomless pit she was plummeting into.

But then she would've been lying.

From the day she met Coley, her life changed. But it came with its cons. Everyday she lived in constant fear of being moved again, somewhere far away. Somewhere that Coley didn't exist.

This was the longest she had ever stayed in one home, a year. The adults were jackasses but at least she had Coley.

Besides, they didn't care what she did with herself. As long as they got the cheque on time, they were content. She stayed at Trenton's house most of the time, anyway.

Sonya wiped a tear from her eye. She hadn't even realized she had been crying. She looked down at the sketch pad in her lap and smiled softly.

She had drawn Coley. She almost always drew Coley. She gently ran a single finger along the outline of the picture and then along the details of her friends soft, innocent face.

Drawing had always been one of Sonya's talents. An escape that wasn't Coley. But in a way, she mused, it was Coley all the same.

"Babe?" She scrambled to shove the book under the bed and grabbed a book off the night table. Trenton was home.

"I'm in here!" She called back.

He came sauntering into the bedroom and gestured to the hall.

"Coley's here." Sonya had to refrain from jumping up to see her best friend.

Instead she nodded and set her book down on the bed, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

Coley was sitting on the counter, sipping on a can of coke when Sonya walked in. It was a simple image, honestly. But not to Sonya.

The way the sun danced across Coley's face through the blinds, and how the girl in question barely let the can touch her lips. Sonya thought it was beautiful.

"Hey, Cole." She greeted. Coley set the can down and hopped off the counter.

"Hey." They hugged gently and it ended too quickly for Sonya's liking. "So, I was thinking we could have a picnic today. You know, by the pond?" Coley suggested.

"That sounds great." Sonya grinned.

"Good because I already packed a ton of food." The shorter girl sighed in relief.

"Oh, so you just expected me to agree to your plans? Hmm?" Sonya playfully raised and eyebrow.

"Pretty much." Coley shrugged. "But we should get going before the food goes bad."

"Yeah. Trent, I'm leaving!" Sonya called. When she didn't get a response she shook her head. She thought she heard Coley mutter 'asshole' but ignored it.

Sonya walked outside, checking her side purse to make sure she had her phone, wallet and house keys.

"How'd you bring the food here any- oh my god, Cole." Sonya stopped dead in her tracks, a huge smile forming.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that I got my license yesterday?" Coley asked, feigning ignorance.

"Yes! You ass. We talked last night!" Sonya ran up to her best friend and hugged her tight.

"I wanted it to be a surprise." Coley shrugged. "Now let's go and pray that I don't kill you with my horrible, horrible driving."

"You're an idiot." Sonya grinned.

The two girls got into the black Dodge Dart and took off down the road.

"Your dad's car is so much nicer in the front seat." Sonya laughed. It was hearty and Coley loved it.

"Oh my god I love this song!" Coley squealed. She turned up the radio and let Ed Sheeran's 'Thinking Out Loud' pulsate through the car.

"When your legs don't work like they used to before, and I can't sweep you off of your feet." Coley sang, purposefully out of tune. Sonya knew just how good she was at singing.

"Sing properly or I'm turning the radio off." She threatened.

"Hey, I'm driving here." Coley pouted.

"Does it look like I care?" Sonya grinned.

"Fine fine. And, darling, I will be lovin' you till we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 17." Coley sang, it was a red light and she had sung the entire passage directly to Sonya, changing the last lyric slightly.

Both girls cleared their throats and looked forwards. Coley changed the station and stopped when Bang Bang came on.

"That sounded really good, Cole." Sonya spoke up.

"Thanks." Coley smile sheepishly.

She pulled onto the side of the road across from a forest.

"We need to carry the stuff from here."

The two girls grabbed one end of the cooler each and Sonya picked up the cloth bag that had a blanket in it as well.

They struggled to get across the street, laughing when they'd almost fall. They trekked through the green forest until they got to their spot.

The pond never had anybody near it. Sonya thought that it described how she felt when she was with Coley perfectly.

Disconnected from the world, peaceful. Whenever they broke through the last of the bush into this small opening, it felt like they were walking into a different realm entirely.

It was completely cut off from the rest of society. Silent.

Coley had shown Sonya the pond when she first moved there.

"Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I see some ducks. I always bring food to feed them, though, just in case." Coley had said with bright eyes before she moved some leaves to show Sonya the pond. It was the second day they met.

Sonya smiled at the memory.

"Son. Sony? Are you helping me or not?" Coley chuckled, watching as her friend hurried to set the blanket on the floor.

"Sorry." Sonya chuckled.

Coley rolled her eyes playfully and opened the cooler. "So, I brought water and kool-aid. We also have cherries, grapes, and strawberries. As well as um," Coley pushed through the food, looking for other items. "Two Hershey's bars, a bag of Doritos, a bottle of vitamin water. Oh, and tuna sandwiches."

She looked up and Sonya, waiting for her friend to realize.

"This is all the stuff that we ate the first time we came here." Sonya said finally.

"Because we got hungry and didn't want to go home so we ran to the nearest store and grabbed a bunch of random food." Coley finished with a grin. "Do you know why I did this?" She asked.

Sonya shook her head, brows furrowed.

"Because exactly one year ago from today, I met my best friend." Coley stood up then.

"Awe, Cole. That's so sweet." Sonya hugged her friend and chuckled.

"And besides, your birthday is in a couple days. So we can count this as part of your gift." Coley winked.

"Part? Coley you don't have to get me anything." Sonya sighed.

"You got me something." The shorter girl scoffed. "Oh my God! Ducks! I told you I wasn't lying." Coley feigned anger towards Sonya.

They had never seen ducks when they went to the pond, so Sonya joked about how Coley was imagining things.

"Wow. Do you have food?" She asked Coley.

"Of course."

The two girls slowly stood up and walked to the edge of the pond. Sonya saw how wide Coley's grin was, how bright her eyes were. She was paying more attention to her friend than to the ducks. Every time a duck would take some food from Coley's hand, the girl would giggle. It was one of the best things Sonya had ever seen and she knew she would be drawing this image for memory.

"Sonya, you're supposed to feed the ducks." Coley giggled.

Sonya's head snapped back to the pond and her face tinted pink.

Shit.

The girls stayed at the pond until dark. The ducks had eventually left and they laid on the blanket, looking up at the stars.

"Do you believe in aliens?" Coley asked, turning her head so she was looking at Sonya.

Sonya turned her head as well and her breath hitched at how close they were. She nodded.

"Yeah. Do you?"

"Yeah. Do you think vampires could exist?"

Sonya's eyebrow quirked and she let out a sharp chuckle. Then she saw that Coley was serious. "Well, maybe. We have no idea what's really out there."

Coley grinned. "Exactly. Did you know that we've explore less than 5% of the ocean? Do you know how stupid we are compared to what we should know about earth?" Coley asked, sitting up on her elbows.

Sonya loved moments like this. When Coley would just talk, ask questions, state her opinion. She loved hearing her talk. She could listen to Coley for hours, just talking about pollution. Trust her, it's happened.

It was something about the glint in Coley's eye when she was really passionate about something. The way she would breathe less often but take deeper breaths, how her eye brows would come together when she was talking about something that didn't make sense.

"I did not know that." Sonya laughed. "But I guess you learn something knew every day." They looked up again, admiring how the stars twinkled against the black sky.

"Do you wanna sleep over tonight?" Coley asked after a long silence.

"Okay." Sonya said. She took out her phone and texted Trenton, telling him she wasn't coming home.

The girls packed up and headed back to the car. Coley was humming some type of tune and Sonya started whistling something that went with it. They smiled at each other once they reached the car.

The drive to Coley's house should've been short. But then Shut Up And Dance came on, so Coley took the long way. And then Want To Want Me came on so she went around the block a couple times, and they were about to turn on her street when Hey Mama came on, so of course they had to make a detour.

After that song finished though, Sonya turned the radio off and made them go back.

"You're using up all your dad's gas, Cole." Sonya chuckled.

"Fine fine." Coley rolled her eyes, turning on to her street.

"Mom, we're home." Coley called out.

"Hi girls." Coley's mother greeted.

"Hi, Mrs- I mean Terri." Sonya corrected. Coley's parents had insisted that she call them by their first names. She was still having trouble with it, though.

"There's food in the fridge if you're hungry." Terri offered

"You hungry?" Coley asked Sonya.

"No I'm fine." The taller girl shrugged.

"No it's okay. We're gonna go to bed soon." Coley said. The two girls walked upstairs and into Coley's large room.

Sonya had a drawer of clothes at Coley's house. They started doing it after her and Trenton got into a fight one night and she showed up and Coley's door. Nothing like that happened again, but it was easier if they ever spontaneously wanted to have a sleepover.

They both changed and got into bed. "Do you wanna watch a movie?" Coley asked.

"Nah, I'm really tired." Sonya yawned, making Coley yawn in turn. Sonya grinned.

"Okay." Coley turned over and shut the lamp off, engulfing them in dark. Sonya scooted closer and wrapped her arm around Coley's midsection. Coley relished in the warmth that radiated off of Sonya's body.

Now she just had to figure out how to get Sonya's present.


	2. Chapter 2

Coley got out of her car and opened the back door. She took out the red-wrapped box and gulped.

She really hoped that Sonya would like her gift.

She walked up to the front door and hesitated before knocking. She really hoped that Trenton wasn't home. _Asshole_.

She heard footsteps and straightened her back. The steps were too light to be Trenton so she grinned.

The door swung open and there was Sonya's perfectly sculpted face.

"Happy birthday!" Coley shouted, throwing her arms around her best friend and squeezing.

"Thank you." Sonya laughed.

"Here." Coley shoved the box into Sonya's arms and the taller girl shook her head.

"Cole.."

"Nope. You have to open it." Sonya narrowed her eyes.

"Fine." The girls walked into the living room and settled on the couches. "This is huge." Sonya pointed out.

"Hurry." Coley whined. She wanted to see Sonya's reaction.

Sonya gently ripped the paper open perfectly. Sonya was, Coley noticed, an extremely patient person. She was never in a rush to do anything, it probably had something to do with how carefree she was, and that was an attribute that Coley aspired to have.

Once Sonya had put the paper gently on the coffee table, she pulled the box top off and unwrapped the tissue. She let out a small gasp and immediately stood up to hug Coley.

"Thank you so much, Cole." She whispered.

"You're welcome. Now take everything out." Coley urged.

Sonya sat back down and pulled each thing nearly out of the box. Prismacolor sketch pencils-

"You got me that daler-rowney sketch pad." Sonya grinned.

"Is it all okay?" Coley asked nervously, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I love it." Sonya said honestly. Everything in the book had to do with drawing. Sketch pencils, sketchbooks, pencil crayons. Sonya loved it.

"You're sure?" Coley was squinting, hoping that Sonya really did like it. Sonya was the type of person that didn't like to let people down. She didn't like being the one to upset people. That often meant hurting herself in the process.

She would rather hurt herself than others. People took advantage of that, people like Trenton. It pissed Coley off to no end.

"I swear, Cole. I love it. Really." Coley grinned at this.

"So.. Where's Trenton?" She couldn't even try to hide the disgust in her voice when she said his name.

Sonya's expression changed to something unreadable. "He, uh. He went to Zach's house last night. He ended up having a few drinks with him so he just stayed the night." She shrugged.

"On your _birthday_?" Coley asked, enraged.

"Coley, stop it." Sonya sighed. And Coley did. She backed off because Sonya looked like she was near tears and that was the last thing Coley wanted.

"Okay fine."

"So, I was thinking we could go around the city today? I'll bring my camera." Sonya smiled and it was the smile that Coley couldn't say no to.

It was the smile that had convinced her to go to her first party, the same smile that convinced her try skateboarding, the same smile that convinced her to smoke a cigarette, the same smile that convinced her to sneak out of her house.. On multiple occasions.

It was a full on grin, both sets of teeth showing. Her eyebrows would shoot up in a hopeful kind of way and it sort of reminded Coley of a 5 year old that really wanted a toy.

"Okay." Coley laughed. "But I brought my bike."

"That's fine." Sonya shrugged. "We can just bike through the city. It'll be more fun like that anyway."

The two girls biked the whole 6 miles into the city. They laugh the entire way and Sonya played music from her phone loud enough to hear from a block away.

They locked their bikes on the nearest bike lock and started going on foot. They walked along the sidewalk, sometimes running through the streets to get to the other side. They took pictures with the most random things. Things that shouldn't stick out to them, but do.

Street signs, tree's, unique restaurants, statues.

They laughed more than necessary and people gave them weird looks. One girl gave them a specially rude look and Coley glared.

"It's her birthday! What're you looking at?" She had snapped.

Sonya started at her, jaw dropped, eyes wide and she let out a breathy, sharp laugh.

"Wow, Coley." They both burst into another fit of laughter.

They walked through the city and explored all the small boutiques and bookstores. They collected trinkets, books and general things they found amusing.

Coley showed Sonya all of her favourite places and it was then that she realized the two of them hadn't been into the city together before. She felt some type of guilt, that she hadn't shared one of her favourite things with her best friend.

But the way Sonya laughed at the stores, and how she smiled that tiny-eyed smile when a cat in one of the small bookstores rubbed against her legs. Or how she touched the spines of the books so gently, as if they'd break and stared at them, fascinated. It all made up for it in some way.

They started walking back to their bikes and Coley was so busy looking at Sonya, she didn't notice the lamppost in front of her. She walked right into and staggered back.

"Thanks for the warning." She said sarcastically. But Sonya gave her that smile. It was the smile that she could never seriously be angry with. The same smile that Sonya gave her when her parents busted her for staying out past curfew. It was the same smile that Sonya gave when Coley needed stitches on her chin after falling off a skateboard. It was the same smile that made Coley feel less guilty about sneaking out.. Multiple times. And it was the exact same smile that, Coley could bet her life on, would get Sonya out of trouble for the rest of her life.

It was this sort of lopsided smile. Sonya would bunch her shoulders up and have one eyebrow slightly up and it made her look apologetic as fuck. Nobody could stay mad at that.

By the time they started riding home, the sun was going down. They didn't go home, though. They went to the pond. They always ended up at the pond.

Coley moved behind a bush and pulled something out.

"One more present." She smirked. She pulled the quarter-full bottle of vodka from behind her back.

"Wow, did you steal that from your parents?" Sonya asked, clearly impressed.

"Yeah. It hasn't been touched in forever. I'm pretty sure they forgot about it." Coley said. She sat down cross-legged next to her friend and offered her the first sip.

Sonya took it and grimaced slightly as the burning liquid slid down her throat. She passed it back.

They took turns, passing it back and forth until there was less than half left.

"Son. Why don't you ever cry?" Coley asked. It was the most innocent question in the world.

"What is there to cry about?" Sonya questioned back in a monotone voice.

"You used to tell me how terrible your foster parents are. You never even complain to me anymore. Why not?" Coley urged.

"There's no use." Sonya shrugged.

"But you're always happy. If I were in your situation, I'd be the biggest bitch of life. You're so kind." Coley continued on, some words were slurred.

"People have it a lot worse than me. I have no right to complain." The tone in Sonya's voice made her sound so small, so fragile. It made Coley sober up faster than ever.

Sonya was gently plucking grass from the ground and her expression was a mask. She was always so happy, so carefree. But maybe Coley just hadn't realized that Sonya was capable of being small, of being fragile.

"Just because someone has it worse than you, doesn't mean your problems aren't valid, Sonya." Coley said.

"I'm not going to sit here and be selfish, Coley." Sonya whispered this. "I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body, I have food, I have you, I have a boyfriend that cares, I-"

"Your boyfriend is douchebag." Coley stated simply.

"Coley, stop it. He's done a lot for-"

"He is the least caring person I have ever met, Sonya. Why can't you see that?" Coley stood up now. Her voice got louder.

"Because he has done so much for me!" Sonya shouted.

"That doesn't mean you owe him." Coley said. Sonya looked down and Coley saw a single tear drop. She immediately got down and lifted Sonya's face. "Don't, don't cry please. I-I'm sorry okay. I just think you're worth more than that." She said honestly. "But I'll stop the boyfriend bashing."

"Thank you." Sonya said. "I'm gonna head home. It's getting kind of cold."

"Yeah, same."

"Oh, and Coley?"

"Yeah?"

"Another reason I don't cry is because they're not worth my fucking tears." Sonya left with a smirk.

Coley shook her head and laughed.

When she got home, Sonya looked through her pictures. She planned on getting them developed, maybe making an album for her and Coley.

She heard the front door open and heavy steps. A drunken Trenton walked into the bedroom and flopped on the bed.

"Night, babe." He planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek and drifted off quickly.

Sonya sat up that night. She was thinking the exact same thing over and over.

 _Maybe Coley was right. Maybe I_ am _worth more_.


	3. Chapter 3

Coley?" Sonya called out as she closed the door behind her.

"I'm upstairs." Coley answered, her voice sounded tired.

Sonya grinned. She walked up the stairs and into Coley's bedroom. "I have something for you."

"My birthday isn't for another 10 months." Coley said seriously, looking up from her computer.

"It's not a birthday gift." Sonya shrugged. She sat down next to Coley on the large bed and gave her a large envelope with a red ribbon on it.

She kept looking back and forth between Coley and the envelope, adorning an excited smile. As Coley pulled the content out of the envelope, Sonya bit her lip. She was suddenly worried that Coley wouldn't like it. That it was too much.

But, then Coley looked up and her and grinned. "Wow, this is beautiful. Like, really beautiful, Sony." All of Sonya's worries dissipated because Coley couldn't lie to save her life.

"I used the mediums you bought me." She smiled.

It was a picture of the scene at the pond. Coley feeding the ducks. Sonya liked to think that she got the look on her friends face pretty accurate. There was the same twinkle in her eye, her arm outstretched and feeding a duck.

"Really?" Coley asked. She seemed pleased and it made Sonya happy.

"Yeah. They're really really nice."

Sonya watched as Coley traced her fingers along the details of the image. She usually received sketches, black and white. But Sonya had coloured it this time and it made the art that much better, something that Coley didn't think was possible.

"I'm gonna frame it." She said finally. Sonya blushed almost immediately.

"You don't have to-"

"Art deserves to be shown so, I'm gonna frame it." Coley cut her off. Sonya felt overwhelmed. Then again, she always felt overwhelmed around Coley.

She couldn't pinpoint why, but she always felt like she was going to explode with her. She felt relaxed, but overwhelmed in the best way possible.

It was the most confusing thing she'd ever felt and just trying to comprehend it made her head throb.

"Listen," Sonya started, trying to get away from her thoughts. "I was thinking we could go back to my place and maybe order some Chinese and watch The Breakfast Club?" She asked hopefully.

"Sure. Do you want to pick up the food on the way?"

"Yeah."

The girls went downstairs and got into Trenton's car, that Sonya drove. It was the only good thing about him. He had a really nice car.

They picked up dinner, which Coley insisted on paying for, and bought a frame for the drawing.

When they got to the house, all of the lights were off and Coley looked at Sonya.

"Isn't Trenton home?"

"He should be. Unless he went out." Her eyebrows were knitted together and they got out of the car.

Sonya picked up the bags of food and gave Coley the keys to open the door.

"Trenton?" Sonya called as they entered the dark house.

"Surprise!" The lights flicked on and multiple people jumped out from behind decorations and counters and walls.

Sonya dropped the food and staggered backwards. Her eyes almost immediately filled with tears as her back hit the door.

Coley ran to hold her up before she could fall to the ground.

"What the hell?" Coley shouted. Sonya didn't like sudden, loud noises. Movements like that scared her and Coley thought that Trenton out of all people would've known that.

A history of living in foster homes, toxic ones, they changed Sonya permanently.

"What happened?" Trenton asked. He was at Sonya's side and he looked worried.

"You- just. Fuck off for a second." Coley snapped. She took Sonya outside and sat on the steps with her.

Sonya was crying. It's wasn't loud, but tears were falling steadily from her eyes. She squeezed them shut, willing the tears to stop.

She hated when she got like this. She couldn't control her reaction to things like that. They terrified her. It was like her 4 previous foster homes all came back to her. The screaming, the hitting, the bruises, the wounds.

"Sonya? Hey. It's alright. I'm here. Just breathe okay? Focus on me and breathe." Coley tucked a stray strand of hair behind Sonya's ear and gently wiped the tears away.

Sonya looked in her eyes and it was like everything around them fell away. It was just the two of them. She concentrated of the details of her friends eyes.

They were worried. More than worried, even. She would do anything to make that look go away. So she did what she did best.

She pushed her problems aside and smiled the best she could because she couldn't stand to see Coley upset.

"Thank you." She whispered. "We can go back in now."

Music was already playing inside and everybody had dispersed from the front area. Somebody had cleaned up the Chinese food and it made Sonya wonder how long they were really outside.

"There's the birthday girl." Trenton hollered. He walked up to Sonya and put his arm around her. She felt a new kind of anger towards her and gently moved from underneath him.

"My birthday was two days ago." She said bluntly.

"I know. But today is your birthday party." Trenton shrugged.

Sonya looked at him for a second before reaching out to Coley. "Come get a drink with me, Coles."

And drink they did. Sonya drank until she could only vaguely remember having a complete breakdown mere hours beforehand.

"Let's play spin the bottle!" Somebody said and everybody nodded along in their drunken states.

Trenton pulled out and empty, glass bottle of coke before sitting on the couch.

"I'm not playing this." He laughed.

"Sonya, since it's your party, you go first." Someone, Sonya wasn't paying attention, suggested. She nodded and hummed happily as she spun the bottle.

It finally stopped and she looked at the person it landed on. Coley.

They both grinned at each other before leaning over the middle of the circle and connecting their lips.

They had kissed once before. It was during a game of truth or dare at a similar party but it was nothing more than a peck.

This, this was totally different. It had escalated within seconds to complete making out. Both of the girls became completely aware of their sense, more sober, but they kept going. They didn't want to stop.

One of the guys whistled, and that's when they realized where they were, _who_ they were.

They laughed at each other when they sat back down. Sonya chugged down the rest of her drink and asked Trenton to make her another. She noticed that he didn't look very happy.

She also noticed that she couldn't quite keep her eyes off of Coley for the rest of the night.

Everybody was gone by 3 in the morning. Coley was getting ready to leave on Sonya's bike, and it made the latter upset.

"Coles, don't go. Spend the night. It's late." But what she really meant was 'don't leave right now because I won't be able to sleep.' And Coley understood.

She put her things down and nodded. Neither of them decided to change, but then ended up staying up till sunrise, watching The Breakfast Club. They fell asleep on the floor, limbs tangled and no sense of personal space.

Coley woke up first and she smiled because Sonya was practically on top of her. Without thinking, she kissed Sonya's head and fell back asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Something changed after they kissed. For Coley, at least.

She felt different around Sonya. She always felt different around Sonya, but this, it was something else.

She blamed her feelings on admiring Sonya. Because she was so strong, so kind. But it clearly wasn't the case. There was something deeper that Coley couldn't comprehend.

She'd look at Sonya and see nothing else.

It felt good, honestly.

"That sounds really good." Sonya shouted from the kitchen.

Coley was playing guitar, random chords, and she laughed. Sonya always wanted to make her feel like she was doing a great job.

"Thanks." She said as her friend brought a grilled cheese to her. Sonya sat next to her on the couch, cross-legged, and their knees brushed.

There were those damn butterflies.

Sonya pulled a cigarette out of the pack laying on the coffee table and lit it. Coley always loved watching Sonya smoke. It didn't happen all the time, but when it did, it was mesmerizing.

The way the smoke spiralled from her mouth, how it dissipated into nothing. The way Sonya held the cigarette so carefully, yet without care at the same time. How she'd tap it twice every once in a while.

"Want one?" Sonya asked once she noticed Coley staring.

Coley nodded. She didn't smoke usually either. She had seen Sonya smoking once and asked why she hadn't seen her doing it before.

"I only do it when I feel like it." Sonya had said as if it should've been expected. Coley had asked for one so she could feel how Sonya felt and she practically coughed up a lung. They spent the next half hour laughing about it.

But over the months she got better at it. She liked how Sonya looked at her when she had a cigarette between her lips.

Sonya lit it for her and smiled when she took a long drag. But then she looked away and frowned.

"What?" Coley asked.

"Why do you do this? Do I make you feel pressured to? Because, God, I don't want to make you feel like you have to do something just because I'm doing it. I won't do it around you anymore if that's the reas-"

"Sonya. Hey. I don't do it because I have to. I want to do it. It feels kind of cool after a while." Coley nudged Sonya light enough so she bounced back. "Okay?" She made eye contact.

"Okay." Sonya said, it was so quiet that she almost mouthed it.

"So, are you finally going to let me teach you guitar?" Coley changed the subject, wanting to make the mood lighter. Sonya squinted her eyes in playful deliberation.

"Sure." She said after a long moment.

They both stubbed their cigarettes out and turned to each other. Coley handed the guitar over and Sonya put it position.

"Okay, put your middle finger here, ring finger here, and pinky here. There, that's a G chord." Coley instructed, moving Sonya's fingers with very little force.

Sonya's face lit up and she started strumming a horrible pattern with a grin etched onto her face.

Okay, stop. Stop it." Coley giggled. "Put your first finger here, second here, and third over here. That's D minor." Once again, Sonya strummed. "And another one. Put your second finger here and third finger here. That's C major 7."

"There's letters and numbers? Wow." Sonya laughed.

"You know The Only Exception, right? By Paramore?"

"That's only one of my favourite songs ever." She rolled her eyes.

"Well, now you know how to play 3 quarters of the song." Coley informed.

"That doesn't sound like it." Sonya's eyebrow went up and she strummed through the chords.

"Well, you need a capo so." Coley put the capo on the fourth fret. "And the strum pattern is down, down, up, down, up."

Sonya tried but she got frustrated after a few failed attempts.

"Here." Coley took the guitar back and sat down again.

She started playing and Sonya couldn't take her eyes off of her. It's sounded beautiful. Out of instinct, Coley started singing along with the guitar.

"When I was younger I saw, my daddy cry, and curse at the wind. He broke his own heart as I watched as he tried to reassemble it." Her eyes closed as she sang the next part. "And my mama swore that she would, never let herself forget." Sonya felt like crying and she didn't know why.

"That was the day that I promised, I'd never sing of love, if it does not exist." Coley's eyes opened and they were locked on Sonya's. "But darling you, are, the only exception. You, are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception." And then she stopped. She cleared her throat and looked away after a moment. "Do you get it now?" Coley asked, it was strained as she stared down at the floor.

"I think so." And the way Sonya whispered it, Coley didn't think she was talking about the song.

"Do you want to try?"

But before Sonya could answer, Trenton came walking in. He was wearing his work clothes and went straight into the bedroom to presumably get changed. He didn't say one word to either of the girls.

"He hasn't changed on bit, huh." Coley muttered.

"What do you mean?" Sonya asked, eyebrows furrowed.

"I mean he's been this way forever. Not caring about anyone but himself." She spat.

"Cole. You said you were done boyfriend bashing." Sonya sighed.

"And I meant it. Right now I'm 'Kid that I've known forever and have hated since before time' bashing." Coley clarified with a small smirk. Sonya couldn't held but smile and her friend.

"It's so weird that you guys have known each other for so long." She admitted.

"Yeah, and it's not fun. At least now I have you whenever my mom says 'Honey, why don't you take some of these brownies to Trent'." It made both of them laugh but Coley was being one hundred percent serious. Sonya was a blessing in her life. Coley was sure she'd have gone insane without the other girl.

"I can't believe July is already half over. Pretty soon we won't be able to do nothing together all day." Sonya nudged Coley.

"Yeah." The smaller girl grinned.

Something in the atmosphere changed once their eyes met. Their smiles disappeared and they both felt as if they'd die if they looked away.

Coley's eyes flashed to Sonya's mouth and back up. She noticed how Sonya was looking at her and started leaning forward.

She barely moved when there was a loud thump and Trenton came back into sight wielding a baseball bat. To him, it probably looked like Sonya was listening to Coley play guitar, but the two girls knew it was something else.

Coley saw Sonya flinch the tiniest bit when she saw Trenton and it made Coley wonder.

"I'm going to desert to hit some baseballs." He said. He wasn't actually going to a desert, that was just what he called a large area of land. There was sand everywhere and Trenton insisted on called it a desert.

"Can we come?" Sonya asked. Coley tried giving her a look that said 'God, please no.' But it was pointless because she was looking at her boyfriend.

"Yeah, sure." And he was out the door.

The desert was barely a 15 minute drive. Sonya avoided an awkward silence by playing the radio loud.

Trenton parked the car and got out without a word to either girls. Sonya loved going there. It was peaceful. But, then Trenton turned the car back on and blasted the radio.

He walked off and started to warmup for batting. Sonya decided to make use of the noise and let the music flow through her. She moved to the beat and let it take her away.

Coley watched in fascination and her best friend danced to some random song on the radio. She always loved how carefree Sonya was, how she never cared who was around. She wasn't ashamed of herself.

That was just one more of the many attributes that Coley hoped would rub off on her from Sonya.

She was so concentrated on the sway of Sonya's hips, the curling of her hands, the way she twirled her body. All she saw was Sonya.

"Aren't you hot?" Sonya asked, stopping her dancing to look at her friend.

"No." Coley shrugged. Her jacket wasn't thick and, even though the sun was beating down on them, she didn't feel remotely warm.

She could practically see Sonya's light up. She remembered something.

Sonya ran to the car and grabbed the large blanket from the back. She wrapped it around herself and began swaying again. Coley continued watching her.

She wished she could join Sonya. Join her in her carefree movements. But Sonya was a work of art, and if Coley tried to go near her, it would be like smudging the paint before it could dry.

Coley felt as if she ruined everything.

She couldn't ruin someone like Sonya.

They stayed there for another hour. Coley and Sonya had taken to laying the blanket on the ground and sitting while Trenton continued batting.

On the drive back, Trenton got a call from his friend. He had to go pick his friends dog up from the pound.

"He ran away a couple days ago. I guess someone found the shithead and took him to the pound." His friend had said.

The dog sat in the backseat with Coley for the rest of the ride.

"Why don't we go for a swim?" Sonya asked once they stepped inside the house. "You brought your bag right?"

"Yeah, sure." Coley grinned.

The two girls walked into Sonya's room to get changed and Coley stood in front of the mirror first. She wanted to tie her hair up before getting changed.

She made the mistake of looking up into the mirror at the wrong time because she saw the expanse of Sonya's bare back. It sent shivers down her spine and she quickly looked down.

Not even a minute later, she looked up again involuntarily, like it was meant to happen. Her eyes met Sonya's and Sonya's eyes smiled. She didn't need to see the bottom half of her face to know that her friend was smiling that smile.

As they looked away from each other, Sonya felt her heart skip a beat. Coley was looking at her. It made something feel warm and fluttery deep in her stomach and she couldn't explain it but she wanted to feel it always.

They managed to finish with changed without any other interactions, but as they exited the room, Coley closed her eyes. She needed a moment to compose herself because she felt like a prepubescent boy who was seeing a girl for the first time.

They both jumped in the pool together. The cool, clear pool water soothed their hot, burning skin. They dunked each other in water and raced around the pool for a little while before settling in the middle. Coley grinned and she had a wicked glint in her eye.

Sonya's eyebrows knitted together as her friend collected a mouthful of water. She shot it out at Sonya and giggled.

"Coley." Sonya laughed, putting her face in the water for a moment.

Coley loved moments like that. Just her and Sonya, the rest of the world never having existed. Trenton never having existed. In moments like that, Sonya never met Trenton. Trenton wasn't real. It was Coley that was making her happy, something that Trenton rarely managed to do.

But then there was a huge splash and he jumped in the pool, ripping their moment from their fingertips so quickly.

Coley swore he did it on purpose.

In less than second, Sonya was pulled away from her and sucked back into Trenton. The moment was gone and suddenly the world rose up once more and they weren't alone.

Sonya noticed this. She saw the look in Coley's eyes right before she was submerged in the water. She looked dejected and irritated and Sonya just wanted to kiss her.

 _Wait_.

She accidentally sucked a breath in and water slipped into her lungs. She kicked at Trenton and dashed upwards, breaking through the surface of the water and coughing out water.

Trenton looked at her like she was crazy, but Coley moved like a bolt of lightening to help Sonya to the edge of the pool. Sonya held onto the edge for dear life, gasping and trying desperately to fill her lungs with oxygen.

Once she calmed down and her breathing became even and controlled, she pulled herself out of the pool.

They had laid towels on the ground so Sonya plopped down on hers. She felt exhausted and confused.

Did she really think about kissing Coley?

She could feel the other girls presence next to her. When she opened her eyes, Coley was laying on her side, watching Sonya.

"What happened?" She asked.

"I'm laying on a towel?" Sonya questioned.

"I meant in the pool. You can hold your breath way longer than that. So, obviously something happened." Coley's eyes narrowed. Sonya was normally the easiest person to read. You could tell how she was feeling in seconds. But, she was also the best at hiding emotions. If she didn't want you to know how she was feeling, you'd have no clue.

"Nothing. I just forgot to hold my breath." She lied. Coley looked as if she was gonna keep asking, so Sonya closed her eyes. She heard a sigh coming from her best friend.

"What now?" She asked, pushing up so she was leaning on her elbows.

Coley wasn't looking at her, though. She was looking past her, at Trenton.

He stepped over the dog, Bullet, and took a chug from his beer bottle. Sonya visible deflated because she thought maybe he wouldn't have drank for a couple hours. Just for a while so he could hang out with them.

"I'm gonna go shower." Coley said, standing up and wrapping the towel around herself.

"Okay, I'll go in after you." Sonya watched as Coley walked back in the house.

She really needed to figure her shit out.


	5. Chapter 5

Sonya stepped out of the shower, dried her body, and stepped into her clothes. She rubbed her hair with the towel to get the excess water out as she walked into the living room.

She saw Coley sitting on the couch, hair wrapped in a towel still, painting her nails. Sonya laughed and copied her friend. She wrapped her hair in her towel and sat next to her best friend.

"That's a nice colour." Sonya complimented. It was gentle and sweet, and Coley loved it.

"Thanks. Do you want me to do yours?" She asked.

"It's okay, I can do my own."

"Let me correct myself. Please let me do yours. 'Cause, honestly, you can't do it by yourself." Coley had that cheeky smile that never failed to make Sonya laugh.

"That's rude. I'm very capable." Sonya scoffed. She was kidding, though because Coley was right.

"Oh, please. You're gonna get it all over your fingers, use nail polish remover to take it all off, and then ask me to do it anyway. Please?" Coley batted her eye lashes and Sonya couldn't hold in the small, breathy, chuckle that left her.

"Fine. But don't think I'll like it." She squinted her eyes on playful intimidation but Coley just got up and walked to the washroom.

"What colour?"

"That one." Sonya pointed to a pinkish colour and both girls sat on the floor.

Coley fell silent once she started painting and Sonya wished she hadn't. It gave her brain time to think about everything.

"Just remember," Coley started. "If you move I'll paint your face."

Sonya smiled as she put her chin on her knees, which were tucked in front of her. She watched her hand for a few seconds before looking up at Coley's focused eyes.

Her smile vanished completely as she realized just how much she wanted those eyes to look up at her.

Coley could feel Sonya's eyes on her, but she willed herself to not look up. She looked at Sonya's nails instead, putting all of her focus into the action.

If she looked up she might've said something. Something about how Trenton was bad for her. How he couldn't give her happiness.

About how _she_ could give her happiness.

So she looked down until she had to do the next hand. When they let go for that split second, Sonya felt lost, incomplete, insignificant.

But then Sonya placed her right hand in Coley's, and everything felt perfect once more. Jolts of electrify shot up both girls arms, yet they did their best to ignore it.

"Done." Coley said. She looked up and used all her energy to smile at Sonya. These moments they'd have, they were getting more frequent.

It wasn't good because Coley had the constant urge to do something about that. She didn't want them to be frequent, she wanted them to be permanent.

The two girls lined their feet up, held hands, and pulled each other up. It was something they tried a few months ago and they just kept doing it.

They took their hair out of the towels and Coley was in awe of how perfect Sonya's hair was. She was wearing the black crewneck that Coley had bought her around Christmas time.

"Can I use your lipgloss?" Coley asked ones they reach Sonya's room.

"Only if you let me put it on for you. You always end up missing your lips and one point or another and it's really frustrating to watch." Sonya laughed when her friend didn't look offended.

"Sure."

The two girls sat on the bed and Sonya twisted the lipgloss cap off the bottle. As she applied the liquid to Coley's lips, she tried not looking into her eyes.

Coley, on the other hand, was search for Sonya's eyes. She was hoping that her friend would look up. Then suddenly, she did. As if she heard Coley's thoughts, she looked up. There was this look in Sonya's eyes that Coley didn't understand.

She felt hopeful and before should could help it she was leaning in the slightest bit.

Sonya wanted this. It's what she thought about in the pool, but in a sudden rush of panic, she pulled back and capped the lipgloss again.

Coley stopped in her tracks and looked away.

"So, do you want to stay for dinner?" Sonya asked, her attempt and clearing the tension.

"Oh crap." Coley shot up. "I'm sorry I totally forgot." She rushed out. She grabbed her backpack and started shoving her clothes in it. "I have to go home and help my mom. My grandparents are coming from Florida today. Bye." She hugged Sonya and practically ran through the house.

Dinner with Coley's grandparents was always fun. She needed to remember to invite Sonya the next time they came over.

It was filled with laughs and stories. Coley's phone kept ringing, Sonya.

She assumed it was just because she left something there, so she texted her saying that she'd pick it up tomorrow and shut her phone off.

"So, Coley. Got any special men in your life?" Grandma Nichols asked with a little wink.

Immediately Sonya came to mind. But instead of saying anything she shook her head. "No. Not right now."

"Well, that's a bummer." Her grandma chuckled.

"I don't know. I don't really need a relationship right now." Coley shrugged.

"That's a great mindset. You don't need a relationship." Her mom cut in and Coley laughed.

"So, how come we haven't met Sonya yet. You talk so highly of her all the time." Grandpa Nichols asked this time.

"I completely forgot to invite her tonight. I was actually just thinking that I'm going to invite her next time you guys come. You'll love her." Coley had to control her giddiness when she talked about Sonya. It wasn't an easy task.

Coley excused herself around 10 o'clock, saying she was tired. She forgot to turn her phone back on before she fell asleep.

Sonya wasn't answering her phone the next morning, so Coley decided to drive down to her house.

When she knocked, it was Trenton who answered and suddenly Coley felt nervous.

"She's in the bedroom." Was all he said.

Coley walked through the house to find Sonya laying on her bed, looking at the ceiling.

"Sonya?" She said. Her friend looked at her and there were tear tracks running down her face. She sat up and wiped her eyes.

"Coles." It came out cracked and out of tune.

"Sonya, what's wrong?" Coley was on the bed in the blink of an eye.

"Coley. I-I'm being moved." She sobbed.

And suddenly Coley's entire world fell from around her.


End file.
